Refried Screens

Our Spanish language skillz are atrocious, but you don’t need to speak a lick in order to understand the beef between Arcangel and Polaco, thanks to a mic upside the head!

Ay Caramba!

Amy Winehouse keeps bringing the goods. At the 2 minute mark, she calls Kanye West the c word:

Straight gangsta! Amy Winehouse needs to keep on touring and bringing the hits. This my friends, is true entertainment. Ain’t no party like a crackhead party!

Another day, another singer gone wild.

Amy Winehouse threw an elbowsmash at a fan during her set at the Glastonbury music festival. Being a perfectionist, Amy wasn’t comfortable with the damage inflicted, so she added a cracktastic punch:

I hope the fan went to the doctor after the violent attack. Who knows what kind of disease she might have caught from Amy Winehouse’s crack attack!

Tim McGraw learned the hard way about how ‘fans’ can be.

Last year, one stole his ring. A month later, another groped him in front of wifey Faith Hill.

This time around, Tim McGraw took matters into his own hands:

Scott Kalitta died while trying to qualify for the NHRA. Nothing funny about this car crash…

As fans of reality television, we tend not to believe that watching it makes you dumb. Then again, we don’t watch The Hills on MTV, where apparently being dumb is a prerequisite for getting a spot on the show.

Take Spencer Pratt.

We just knew him as some dude who has a hell of a publicist. After watching David Letterman rip into him FOR SIX MINUTES, we think Spencer needs new help:

Ha! He tried rolling out before the interview ended. Only problem? He should have left as soon as he sat down.

Reports have surfaced about George Clooney breaking up with girlfriend Sarah Larsen during her breast implant recovery.

Contrary to what some might think, Clooney neither hates breasts nor does he hate implants.

George Clooney hates deception.

A friend says, “She likes her new body so much that she would consider posing for Playboy. Now that she’s famous, she’d never go back to cocktailing.”

Nothing says “I’m going to cheat on you” more than unsolicited breast implants.

Clooney knew it was all about her.

And no one upstages George Clooney, dammit!

Daniel Craig is the new bad luck Schleprock of the James Bond franchise:

The curse of James Bond has struck again - after 007 actor Daniel Craig sliced off the tip of one of his fingers filming  an action sequence.  Craig, 39, was taken to hospital today while the 22nd Bond movie, ‘Quantum of Solace’ was being shot at Pinewood Studios.  It is the second time in two weeks that Craig has been injured during filming.  A week ago his face was cut and required eight stitches.

Apparently, other folks have suffered:

The ‘Curse of Bond’ has struck Halle Berry in 2002 during the making of Die Another Day as Bond - played at the time by Pierce Brosnan - was filmed firing at a helicopter.  In 1997, during the filming of Tomorrow Never Dies, Pierce Brosnan was left scarred after he was hit hit by fragments of a bullet.  And In 1967 during You Only Live Twice with Sean Connery a stuntman lost both his legs in the rotor blades of a helicopter.

Is it coincidence that Amy Winehouse, who was recording the title track for the movie is having her own problems?  Maybe we can blame the Bond curse for hubby Blake’s incarceration.  Or Duran Duran’s fall from grace after recording the View To A Kill.  Maybe the curse goes back in time and is the reason Ike Turner got all abusive on Tina Turner years before she recorded Goldeneye. 

News of the World has video of Amy Winehouse in a makeshift crack den singing racist chants:

Amy, 24, and a pal called Sarah giggle as they sing a string of racist lines set to the tune of kiddies’ favourite ‘Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes’…Amy enthusiastically sings:

“Blacks, Pakis, Gooks and Nips, Gooks and Nips!  And deaf and dumb and blind and gay!”

Maybe she can sing a duet with John McCain:

“I hate the gooks,” McCain said yesterday in response to a question from reporters aboard his campaign bus. “I will hate them as long as I live.”

David Archuleta, the world needs you and your drug and racism free golden voice, now more than ever!

Paparazzi seems to be bad luck for the migety Hollywood actress. This time Mary Kate Olsen is victimized:

Time to beef up that security.